so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
