I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
