I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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