Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
