she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
