why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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