Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Boobs speak an international language.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
