I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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