So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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