So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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