Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You are the jesus of drinking
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize