Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize