dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
