Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
