Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
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I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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