Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
