Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize