my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
