K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
