Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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