I look better un-naked...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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