He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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