meet me or not, i'm out of control
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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