I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
