Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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