High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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