Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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