He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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