Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...

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  (586): Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him... http://tfl.nu/q62j
  Replies (15) Good night (870) Bad night (1193)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.

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  (630): He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house. http://tfl.nu/pura
  Replies (50) Good night (3375) Bad night (5672)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.

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  (724): after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger. http://tfl.nu/1s95
  Replies (46) Good night (1544) Bad night (15566)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

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  (309): I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar. http://tfl.nu/nec2
  Replies (8) Good night (3706) Bad night (894)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese

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  (248): btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese http://tfl.nu/b6cs
  Replies (9) Good night (4867) Bad night (1223)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.

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  (404): I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around. http://tfl.nu/j7r2
  Replies (7) Good night (837) Bad night (1728)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities

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  (206): Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities http://tfl.nu/0iqe
  Replies (11) Good night (3397) Bad night (702)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.

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  (914): Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt. http://tfl.nu/ro8e
  Replies (4) Good night (1498) Bad night (517)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.

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  (518): He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one. http://tfl.nu/zjjj
  Replies (4) Good night (1810) Bad night (667)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.

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  (509): Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner. http://tfl.nu/7ypr
  Replies (6) Good night (818) Bad night (1458)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.

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  (630): First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out. http://tfl.nu/rcq3
  Replies (11) Good night (820) Bad night (501)
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  (323): View more from California

  I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?

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  (323): I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there? http://tfl.nu/203x
  Replies (7) Good night (534) Bad night (651)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.

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  (206): If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever. http://tfl.nu/y5vi
  Replies (1) Good night (632) Bad night (307)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.

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  (903): He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless. http://tfl.nu/fekz
  Replies (4) Good night (1216) Bad night (394)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with

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  (443): Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with http://tfl.nu/mzbo
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (547)

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