Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  you would pick up someone in the library

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  (502): you would pick up someone in the library http://tfl.nu/20m6
  Replies (20) Good night (3772) Bad night (521)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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  (515): he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants. http://tfl.nu/e70d
  Replies (31) Good night (723) Bad night (4837)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went

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  (443): you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went http://tfl.nu/2n24
  Replies (7) Good night (1736) Bad night (3363)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.

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  (308): Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies. http://tfl.nu/eijo
  Replies (20) Good night (7939) Bad night (749)
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  (951): View more from California

  my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.

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  (951): my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands. http://tfl.nu/553v
  Replies (21) Good night (4394) Bad night (1091)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty

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  (860): Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty http://tfl.nu/6xch
  Replies (14) Good night (4439) Bad night (1106)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

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  (717): i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does. http://tfl.nu/p0z8
  Replies (14) Good night (1774) Bad night (3431)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.

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  (319): Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up. http://tfl.nu/ktvf
  Replies (17) Good night (5071) Bad night (842)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys

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  (318): You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys http://tfl.nu/kc5i
  Replies (7) Good night (2409) Bad night (925)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too

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  (402): He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too http://tfl.nu/2c7f
  Replies (9) Good night (4362) Bad night (1060)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence

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  (570): Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence http://tfl.nu/3zfv
  Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (521)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.

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  (607): Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair. http://tfl.nu/k6ce
  Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (923)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.

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  (423): I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud. http://tfl.nu/10lu
  Replies (9) Good night (2759) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it

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  (530): Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it http://tfl.nu/avbb
  Replies (5) Good night (1629) Bad night (528)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...

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  (520): Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour... http://tfl.nu/y7yu
  Replies (5) Good night (270) Bad night (796)

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