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• (415): View more from California

  I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with

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• (425): View more from Washington

  i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.

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• (925): View more from California

  we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks

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• (817): View more from Texas

  MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (925): View more from California

  Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?

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• (516): View more from New York

  That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

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• (352): View more from Florida

  She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

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• (310): View more from California

  This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat

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  19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime

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• (714): View more from California

  especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.

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