Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
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Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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