it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
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Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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