Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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