Im at strip club and am horny
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
