i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I will pee on everything he values.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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