Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
