Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
