I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
