it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
