when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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