Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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