Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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