mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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