So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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