look no pants
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize