The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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