What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
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Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize