Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
