ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
