yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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