I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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