I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize