It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
