I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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