Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
