Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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