he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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